New Beginnings

A little piece of us dies every day. From our very cells to pieces of our heart forever changed by the pains and challenges of yesterday.

The other side of that truth is everything is reborn again. Everything. It is in our details. Our perceptions. Our truths. Every day a part of us is brand new.

Each moment brings a new beginning. It was my mother Enid’s final chapter and my son Nixon first, that I found this truth. As the anxiety ridden yesterday is gone, this morning I awoke with very specific words resounding in my soul.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

Enid and David

Enid and her brother David.

Enid had purposefully chosen this poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye and carefully hidden in a place where she knew only the person who needed the message most and the person who could carry and deliver her message would find it.

I found it. I was momentarily stunned, as I knew exactly what I was reading and why. There were no directions with the poem. I simply knew. Through hot and salty tears, a feeling of being cool and refreshed began to ease the pain in my heart just a bit. 

I am a thousand winds that blow.

The epitome of class and timeless beauty.  Enid on her wedding day

The epitome of class and timeless beauty. Enid on her wedding day

These words are boundless and at first glance seem much too large to bring comfort. As I sat outside soaking up the Vancouver sunlight and gazing at my mother’s tiny garden after she had passed, the words played over and over in my soul. I began to whisper them quietly, over and over, to my beautiful new baby boy who was eyeing me carefully as if he was sent to care for me rather than me for him.

I got it. I GOT IT! Each moment brings a new beginning. Love, energy, and intention never die. WE are one and we are all an active part of all things. Whether our outside physical carriage is gone, our chassis … our internal framework is entirely intact and perfectly aligned with infinite energy.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.  I am not there.  I did not die.

Lennox, Enid, Nixon, & Alex

Lennox, Enid, Nixon, and me. 12 days later she would be gone. Look at her smile. Magnificent!

You are alive! Carpe Diem! Rise today and smile a smile you have never smiled. Help one more person. Let one tiny argument go. Let angst have a go at itself today while you lean into the wind. While I miss my mom every day and my journey sometimes brings me to my knees, I have learned to say  “thank you” while I’m down there because as soon a I get up, I know my gait will be refreshed, renewed, and reborn.

Today, I am thankful for the wind. It spreads seeds so they can grow new food, flowers, plants, and life. The wind cools you on the hottest of days and if you listen carefully, you may your hear angels joyfully singing of all you believe you have lost. The song can fill your heart and restore your faith.  Today, I am thankful for each person who reaches out to me with a quest for hope. You restore me every day. You, many times, ARE my wind.  You are my angels.

I will set out for today’s adventure with Nixon with the wind in my heart and the sun on my face. I bet something spectacular is waiting for us to discover. Gotta go! Gotta get there! I know the same gift is waiting for you. Open you heart and close your mouth! All you are wishing for is already here.

Here is Mary Elizabeth Frye’s poem, Enid’s gift to me, and my family. Our gift to you.

"Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep" ~ Mary Elizabeth Frye

“Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep” ~ Mary Elizabeth Frye

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“I’ll do it tomorrow…” 4 Tips for How to Avoid Procrastination and Get Things Done!

procrastinators leaders of tomorrow

“I’ll do it tomorrow…”

4 Tips for How to Avoid Procrastination and Get Things Done!

By

Natasha Sharma M.Sc OACCPP

NKS Therapy

Natasha Sharma is a psychotherapist, doctoral student, author, speaker, and media spokesperson.

Natasha Sharma is a psychotherapist, doctoral student, author, speaker, and media spokesperson.

@NatashaSharma17

A stunningly high number of clients I see in my practice complain about the dreaded P-word: Procrastination. They have ideas, goals, small tasks and large ones, and never seem to complete any of them. When I ask them what gets in the way, the answer is often “I don’t know.” Procrastination – aka the ‘art’ of putting things off until another day – is incredibly common. Not that big of a deal for things that actually can wait, but perfectly annoying when there are things we genuinely need to get done sooner rather than later. It’s a problem that plagues the busy and the not-so-busy, over-achievers and under-achievers, the younger and the older. Why is this?

Human beings are creatures of habit, and our brains have a tendency to favour routine. So any tasks that drastically deviate from our daily routines require more effort from our brains, in the form of conscious self-motivation, organization, and initiation to those very tasks. And, in case you didn’t already know it, our brains don’t like to work! But constant procrastination often leaves us feeling disorganized, unproductive, and downright down on ourselves. And in the worst cases it can lead things to pile up forcing us to do everything at the last minute, which can be overwhelming and incredibly stressful.

Gail Devers Quote

Gail Devers

World Class Olympic Athlete, Woman, Philahthopist, #MOM

@imgaildevers

Here are 4 tips for how to avoid procrastination once and for all:

for how to avoid procrastination once and for all:

  1. Get a good night’s rest – every night! Procrastination is linked to the self-regulatory mechanisms of our bodies, also called executive functioning, which is chaired by the pre-frontal cortex area of our brains. Without adequate rest, this area of the brain simply cannot function at its optimal level, so organizing your time will be more difficult. Granted I said our brains are lazy, but don’t deprive them of a full 8 hours every single night. And if you can handle it, one good, strong cup of coffee in the morning will kick-start your pre-frontal cortex and get you ready for action.
  1. Don’t try to do it all; pick a few things! Picture this: You have a paper to write for a class you’re taking, your taxes are due, you’ve always wanted to learn how to build furniture, learn to speak Swahili, write a book…slow down! If your brain is overwhelmed with too many tasks, it won’t try for any of them! Instead, pick one or two things you really want or need to do and shoot for those to start. Once they are done, pick one or two more, and so on. Research has consistently shown that this method of ‘chunking’ things out helps to get things done faster.
  1. Write things down. This is an oldie but a goodie. Research has also shown that writing things down is more strongly correlated with completion of said things as compared to when we don’t write things down. Why? Accountability. Also, there’s a certain satisfaction in the physical act of deleting an item off of your “to do” list – it can be so gratifying!
  1. Use pleasure as a reward. Still got your pen out? Make a list of things you like in life; things that bring you sheer joy and pleasure. They can be things you do every day or things you occasionally splurge on. Be it an hour at the gym, taking a long hot bath, having a glass of wine, watching a ‘guilty-pleasure’ movie, whatever. Look at your list and use the things on it as rewards for getting something done. Promise yourself that: “After I write half of that report for work, I will watch an hour of TV” and “after I write the rest of the report tomorrow, I will play tennis with Bob.” And then make sure you do reward yourself with something after you finish. This is effectively training your own brain to anticipate rewards for not procrastinating, thereby doing it less and less frequently. Because in addition to being kind of lazy, our brains love to be rewarded!

Put these 4 tips into action and you’ll likely notice a big change in how often you put things off for another day. And in how you feel about yourself. Now if you’ll excuse me, my reward for writing this article is an episode of “Suits.” I’m totally addicted.

Motivational-Quotes-9

 

 

Reboot your #Spirit, #Motivate with Control. Alt. Delete

About a year ago, my first article published was called Control.  Alt.  Delete.  Reboot Your Spirit.  The “hard re-boot” of my internal motherboard was extremely hard and dauntingly scary.  However, it was the best thing I could’ve done.  Through my honesty and willingness to accept myself as less than perfect, using humor and my three-step action plan, I freed myself to live, dream, and hope again.  There are still many frustrating days when I find myself slipping back into old habits and self defeating behaviors.  It happens to the best of us, all the time.  The best thing to do, is refer to a simple action plan with easy steps to remember.  As always, I share my steps with many publications and life coaching clients, thebabyspot.ca being one of the most near and dear to my heart.  Ever authentic, thebabyspot.ca, the Editor in Chief, and her staff, have supported me and lifted me many times…even when I couldn’t find my own voice.  Each day I remember to be grateful for at least three things, my son, my journey, and your support from around the globe.  Thank you.  Each one of you.  You enrich my life and motivate me everyday.  Thank you for all the notes and emails.  Many bring tears to my eyes. I know you’re out there.  Try to remember to enjoy your journey.  Believe that everything ALWAYS works toward the greatest good.  On tough days remember you can always change the way you experience the events in your life. Control.  Alt.  Delete. Reboot your spirit, find humor, and give love.
Lovingly,
Alex

Control, Alt. Delete

www.motivatingothermothers.com

Alexsandra Wright

As mothers and fathers, we find ourselves rolling our “tape” when we are around others. From the work setting to social gatherings, we roll a tape of what we are about and the points that we want to get across to the person listening to us. Many times, our “tape” is embellished to drive a point that we are “nice people, powerful people or respected people.” We do this because we want the listener to gage similar feelings about us. When we roll our tape, we are solidifying that our character, whether real or exaggerated, is presented in the best light to illicit whatever validation we need.   However, once the meeting is over, we have allowed a listener to think something about us that perhaps is not true and we slowly chip away at not only our moral compass, but our character.

Alexsandra Wright has a great three step method to stop this. Like a computer, we have to control, alt and delete.

Control

The answer to being  comfortable in our truth is simple. We have to stop our tape. However, it is the procedure that is hard. Many of us can’t stop rolling out the points we want others to know. Alexsandra asserts that the first step is to CONTROL our words and thoughts.

“Stopping our tape requires us to really listen to what we are saying. Every word. We must take notice which words we use to soothe or validate ourselves, our actions, our feeling and ultimately, our existence.”

Do you find yourself name dropping? Do you want the listener to know about your powerful job or how you are a much stronger person then you really are? Why do you want them to know these things, especially if it just to get a reaction to make you feel good about yourself, garner sympathy, and position yourself as more powerful than another person?  Control yourself from falsely validating.

Alt

Alexsandra’s second step is to Alter your words, thoughts and feelings. She suggests to give yourself some time, whether alone or in a social setting to BE STILL. Think of the words you use to validate yourself. These words will “tingle” a bit according to Alexsandra. Like a slight burn, you know that these words do not feel good and it’s time to give some focus to the problem area. Alexsandra wants you to notice that you are trying to convince someone of something. That someone is not the listener, it’s YOU. Stop right there! Take a deep breath. Instead of saying something in that moment… examine YOUR moment.

Delete

Okay readers, it’s time to purge. Yes, those uncomfortable moments according to Alexsandra are the ones that make us feel that we need to be our biggest and best self. However, seize the opportunity to be your AUTHENTIC self. Say nothing. Be in your moment. Most of all, LET GO of who you think you NEED TO BE and become WHO YOU ARE.

Are you being your authentic self? Leave your story in the comments section below!

I can #Dream again … So can you! #DreamFearlessly

I knew I’d survive, after all, I always have.  I knew I’d live, after all, I always have.  I just didn’t know if I would live in Technicolor again nor if I’d ever DREAM again.  Now I know…  It’s better than a dream!  It’s my reality.  I’ve earned it.  So have you.  If you are still in the midst of your “night”…HOLD ON!! The sun will rise and so will your heart.  I’m with you every step of the way and living proof that it’s sweeter than ever, when you’ve consciously been an active participant on your journey.
Email me if your are having trouble believing!
Best,
Alex
Dream Again

Alex2

Ah things ain’t what they used to be, no no
Where did all the blue skies go?

Marvin Gaye’s timeless Mercy, Mercy Me lyrics gently ring true with many mothers. How quickly life can take us full of hope and big dreams and into a pool of desperation so deep, we find ourselves swimming to get out. Have you been a mother who thought your marriage would last, but it fell apart and now you are in a situation that you have not imagined? Do you find you are struggling, holding on to each day, worried what the next would bring? Do you miss the days that you were full of hope, aspiration and big dreams? Alexandra Wright knows your pain and she can tell you first hand, she has been there.

Poison is the wind that blows from the north and south and east
Woo mercy, mercy me, mercy father

As a single mom, Alexsandra had lost everything through court battles and child support challenges. Each day was filled with unfamiliar worries of getting her son the bare necessities. She worried about what tomorrow would bring. In quiet moments, she ruefully thought of her previous career as a high powered branding executive and slowly put together strategy to return. As she sat amongst other mothers, children, and families who had lost everything, she never lost hope that she would survive, but definitely wondered if she would ever LIVE again. More over….would she ever DREAM again? Once she pulled herself out of poverty and pulled away from “surviving” chronicled here, she began to breathe in life once again and he heart swirled with joy that that she too could and would dream again.

How much more abuse from man can she stand?
Oh, na na…
My sweet Lord… No
My Lord… My sweet Lord

Alexsandra attests “Once we can clear the dense fog of toxic people, recurring bad habits, relationships, and  self doubt, we can truly manifest what we truly desire and the infinite abundance available to all of us.  Whether it is our family, our faith, or our goals, we can focus on each piece of our destiny and bring them to life. It’s about clearing the path of negativity and focusing on what you truly want out of life. Essentially, what we have learned from her, is to visualize and conceptualize. Visualize the dream you want, take the concept, and produce simple action items. Tackle each one at a time and keep track of your victories!  Make it happen! Channel your hope, faith and fortitude and DREAM again.”

AlexPR

“The POWER to MANIFEST our hearts desire begins within our HEARTS. During the dark times, our heart merely beats to pump blood and keep us alive. As the dawn comes and the cloak of the night lifts, so will your heart. You WILL live again. You WILL dream again… I know… I’m living it!” ~ Alexsandra Wright.

Alexsandra now can say that she is building her dream of Motivating Other Mothers globally. Check with her website for updated manifestations, inspiration and wisdom. Most recently, she is working with Marvin Gaye III and his phenomenal wife Wendy on a new project called “Rise Up” that will inspire change for all of us. ‘Rise Up” teams up with many wonderful organizations and charities that will double the efforts to give back in every meaningful way. We all need a hand and this team, will be reaching around the world to help. Alexsandra wants you to turn yourself back to manifesting your dreams, so you can look back at your past life and say “Ah things ain’t what they used to be” and feel good about it.

“The opportunities, the people and the joy in my life have only grown by leaps and bounds. My career has flourished into more than I have dared to dream before and the freedom of letting go of the shackles from yesterday allow me to soar to new heights.  I’ve opened offices in Beverly Hills and am working with a true Dream Team.  Nixon is thriving and happy.   I am LIVING! I am DREAMING! I am LOVING. I have never felt better.” Alexsandra Wright

Author: thebabyspotca

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